There are moments of the day where I think to myself, “Oh my word, it’s only 11 am, or ahhh, it’s only 2 pm. How in the world am I going to remain sane until you go down for bed!!!! I am a working mom, but I work part time which means there are many days, it’s just me and my babe. All day. I feel very grateful for the time we have together and the opportunity to work part time. To be brutally honest, I would love nothing more than to be a stay at home mom, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s up to me to keep her fed, clean, entertained, and well, let’s be honest, I’m all I’ve got to provide the same things for myself. Most of the time, she is much cleaner and more well fed than I.
She is 18 months old, and VERY strong willed. I fully acknowledge she got that from me, and I am doing my best as her mommy to make that a character asset of hers… With that being said, she tests my patience, A LOT. I am committed to gentle parenting, no raising voices, guidance vs. punishment, and lots of positive reinforcement. This is tricky, even for this gal who was told she would never have her own child. By a miracle of God, my husband and I conceived our beautiful, wonderful, and again, strong willed child.
There are lots and lots of times each day, I have an idea of what I want her to do. There are many times when that is just flat out not going to happen. As her personality develops, she and I can have a battle of wills, that well, I’m not sure what to compare it to, let’s just say it can be intense. I have to realize she is her own person, who is developing wants of her own. There is a middle ground that we find after some struggle each, and every day. It’s not about her getting everything she wants, and it is not about me dragging her along with me, accomplishing all I “think” needs to get done that day. There are days when I cannot wait for her daddy to get home, just to have someone else to play with her, bathe her, feed her. There are days I cannot wait to go to work.
At the end of the day, like today for instance, I was bathing her. We threw all seriousness and all rules out the window. We played, we splashed, we laughed for as long as she wanted. It was amazing. It made all of those moments of struggle throughout the day totally unimportant. I laid her in her princess bed, as she calls it. She cuddled her Dumbo and I nursed her to sleep. So so cute. I can hardly take it when she looks at me and says, “mommy, milk. Princess bed.” It’s too much for my heart to handle. The amount of love I have for that little girl is astounding.. As we lay there, I took it all in, as I try to every night. Her smell, the way she feels breathing in my arms, is incredible. Unlike anything I’ve ever known. Being her mommy is addicting. It’s the most important thing I’ve ever been. My heart is full as I write this tonight. I’m sitting down with my husband for dinner, we will share about our day, we will most likely quote our daughter and laugh and smile about how amazing she is and how blessed we are.
There is this thing. An anomaly if you will. It’s called the mommy shower. There is nothing else like it in the world. I’ll do my best the set the scene…
It’s just me and the babe. She’s woken from a nap. Fed, changed and seemingly happy. Here’s my chance! My chance to enjoy a shower. Not a full on shave my legs, etc. shower, but what I used to refer to as a rinse off shower. A soap my hair body and face as fast as humanly possible before my daughter drops all of her “keep the baby occupied long enough for mommy to shower” toys.
I’m halfway through washing my hair and there goes toy #1. Shit. Hurry, rinse the hair. Condition, fast! I’d love to be able to wash my face.. I get the soap on my face just as she starts to fuss because toy #2 has now fallen victim as she was reaching for toy #1. What are my options? The ABC’s. That’s right folks. That’s what I’ve got in my arsenal. It’s that or the itsy bitsy spider.
I pull back the curtain so she can see me. I cannot see mind you. I am now dangerously close to blinding myself with soap in the eyes. I start singing the ABC’s. I am freezing, legs flailing, eyes closed, doing my best to sing the ABC’s so that maybe, just maybe I can finish my “shower”. I rinse my face, all the while making sure she can see some part of my body either dancing or moving in some way. I peek around the curtain and “peek a boo”! I get a laugh and a smile. I’m golden. As long as I keep up the singing and the dancing I may get to finish my “shower”. All of her toys are now on the floor out of her reach. Here’s my dilemma. Do I keep running out of the shower sopping wet to pick them up? Nah, keep singing! Don’t forget the dancing! I guess I’m a sucker. I’ll do anything to keep this baby happy I tell ya.
Long gone are the days where the water ran cold because I got to enjoy a spa like shower experience. I long for Saturdays and Sundays where I know babe and hubs are playing happily in the next room. It’s all worth it. I’d dance around with the shower half open any day for that smile. There you have it folks. That’s the mommy shower…. In all it’s glory.